Kenos - Communion

[sharethememory]

Communion with Zhongli always feels a little like this.

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action.

[vapour]

[ excuse him, but sometime during this he will be peeking into Zhongli's room all suspicious like before heading in to go flop on the consultant's bed. It doesn't matter if Zhongli is in the room or in the bed (or not in the room at all,) the results are the same, and he will remain there like a stubborn little gremlin until he is acknowledged, even if that means waiting for Zhongli to come back to the room at a later date. ]

[sharethememory]

[ Zhongli is in his room!

What is the protocol for communion eavesdropping when two of you live in the same house and Childe eagerly participates in it like a jock watching his favorite sport--- well, Zhongli isn't sure what the etiquette is. So he tries to be in a different room in the house, fully trusting Childe to tell him anything that he believes to be pertinent after the fact.

Once done listening to a few more bits of conversation, he drops the communion to give his full attention to Childe. ]

Childe? You seem bothered by something.

[vapour]

[ he can't help it he gets really riled up! It doesn't help it drives him crazy that it all is in some weird kind of mind communication. Even though it's creeping into a year now since he's had to learn this way to do things it's still messy. The horse lady making a fuss about it all the time really has a point if he's honest.

That and childe really is of the mind if he wanted to be quiet about it and cared if Zhongli heard it then he'd make himself conveniently not at home or locked in his room and extremely (uncharacteristically) quiet about it.

he's going to sprawl and roll around on Zhongli's bed now as he complains. ]

This crap with Manon is so annoying. Why can't everyone put down their faction agenda so we can figure out what the hell is going on? I feel like the Meridian are playing extra hardball because of their loss at the Scorching Isles; but I don't think Manon's situation is where they should be doing it. But as much as I think they're crazy, I'm pretty sure even less of Zenith cares about getting to the bottom of what happened to him.

[sharethememory]

[ Zhongli sits at the edge of the bed, one leg crossed over the other and palms planted on the bedspread as he looks down at Childe. While the other may appear to be acting ... well childish, this probably meant that he was grappling with something important. ]

While I cannot refute the credibility of those observations, let us put the others aside for the moment. We cannot control their actions, only make contingencies for them.

It seems the overall directions of the proceedings have you troubled. So considering the larger picture, how would you proceed regarding Manon's situation? I believe your input to be quite valuable since you were there firsthand.

[ It goes without saying that Zhongli is asking this regardless of faction lines and responsibilities, considering Childe's lead up into this conversation. ]

[vapour]

...

[ Childe stops rolling finally, pointedly facing away from Zhongli and taking one of the pillows to bury his face in it, mumbling (almost) incoherently an equally childish: "I don't know."

Although he seems to get this is a question that didn't have real world contingencies, somehow speaking in that language suddenly doesn't feel so comfortable. Even as much as he's been making a fuss about wanting to help Manon over the communion space, suddenly being invited to say that again to a person that he's spend time with in his own world with feels... wrong.

It's not that he doesn't want to help the guy, every second he watches the bullshit unfold he witnesses with increasing distress his own fate: turning into a monster with no one to help you, and the only acknowledgement that you even exist is people deciding how they want to use you before disposing of you or simply skip to the disposal part. He knew this coming in to complain, but somehow it just hits extra hard suddenly, abruptly realizing that he has to remind himself that he doesn't have the relationship with Zhongli he thought he did to really get what he is looking for out of this.

For once, he realizes exactly what he wants and knows it's pointless to seek it here. Would he get it if he went to Kaeya? Not really... he and Kaeya are so codependent on each other for self-worth— and Childe already stepped forward in this shard experiment fiasco as the anchor.

Not good. And yet not good enough that he quits while he's ahead and gets up. Instead, he buries his face in the pillow further, curling up about it even as he growls crankily (and louder) through the bedding accessory. ]

I just want to know what really happened; I'm trying to look out for all of us as Bearers and — [ that's a shitty lie a darker side of him sneers mentally. no one here cares about him and he certainly doesn't care about any of them. It's just coincidence that it would affect his own well-being the same as the others. ]

...and everyone just gets in my way. Hmph.

[sharethememory]

[ Zhongli blinks owlishly as Childe turns away and burrows deeper into his bed. Even with his less than stellar understanding of emotions (and also inadequate understanding of Childe if the fiasco at the Northland Bank was anything to go by), something about this whole interaction still seems a little off. Like he was missing some vital piece of the puzzle, and boy oh boy, is Zhongli ever the worst at these kinds of puzzles.

With Childe curled up sulking against his pillow...

He reaches out a hand, leaves it hovering over Childe for an embarrassingly awkward few seconds before giving him a few light pats on the shoulder.

That was a proper show of physical reassurance, right? ]

Then let me stand besides you so that at least one person is not getting in your way.

You are looking for the truth, yes? Even if it may uncover something unkind about Lady Yima.

[ Since as far as he can tell, Childe's devotion to Zenith was largely tied up in his fondness for its leader. At least, the way he spoke about them with pride was comparable. So was the way he talked about his fellow Harbingers--- er, Zenites.

And while they both know that Childe does not mind if Lady Yima has a dark history (perhaps it is even preferrable to Childe in that respect), a Vanguard's most important duty was to be of service to Her Majesty. ]

[vapour]

[ yeah, he guesses it's technically physical reassurance. Zhongli can pass for today.

( He feels a sense of frustration that he doesn't expect at Zhongli's attempt to offer to help him rather than get in his way. Childe grimaces, aware that he's being unfair and immature to still feel angry about Liyue, but he can't help it. Zhongli had stayed on the side out of his way, then, too; and yet he still was the single biggest obstacle in Childe's way, in the end. Could that somehow happen again, even if there's no reasons he can identify that would cause a thing like that? )

Now isn't the time to be lashing out at Zhongli. Now isn't the time. What he did back on the Scorching Isles was more than enough if he had any hope without Emet-Selch around to be convincing Zhongli to support Yima's cause.

(And a part of him is just tired of holding this negativity against Zhongli. He has been able to feign bring over it in several ways, but when it surges up randomly at times like these he realizes he wishes it really was just no longer an issue on his mind. He holds onto the conviction a fight will put it to rest, but each pushing day he can't fight Zhongli here he wonders if he's setting himself up only for misery and disappointment.

Did he want things to go back to the east they used to be, then?

...No, no he doesn't. What he wants is— ]

... Yeah. If I don't have the truth... [ —what then, exactly? Is he not useful to Zenith? A failure because he said he would assist the Matron in doing so? Both? Does it reflect badly on Her Majesty, too? ]

But, there's this feeling I can't shake: it's the more I learn about Manon the more I don't want to know his truth, even though it's necessary for the truth. [ because he still currently sees himself in that person, and he likes less and less of what he sees. A man who lacks conviction, who kills needlessly and exercises in the name of a set of beliefs only for one single thing to fall out of place and crush his foundations to the point that he can no longer justify his entire way of life for the past decade. ]

I hate this fuss all over one guy that doesn't really have anything worthwhile to him for either side, too. I don't get if Meridian is being kind or they're just that above it all that they will take the worthless under their protection in pity.

[ (Childe hates pity.)

—But most of all, he sees a coward who runs (and his own footsteps crunching through the snow that night deafen his mind every time he thinks about it.) ]

[sharethememory]

[ Ah. This was a concern that Zhongli could easily understand. That trepidation of overturning a rock to see what might be hiding in its shadow. At its worst, it could threaten the very beliefs that had built the foundation of living here in Kenos. At best, it was uncomfortable and did little more than adjust or confirm one's worldview in small degrees. Truth truly was both a blessing and a curse.

But to ignore it--- surely that would result in only larger regrets. ]

I feel the same uneasiness. Whatever truths lie behind Manon's story, whatever truths lie behind this land that gathers and shepherds the lost like so many sheep - I cannot imagine how it could be anything but complicated. How what we see now is only the tip of an iceberg that extends far into the depths below.

[ As for the other part of Childe's dilemma---

The description of Manon strikes an uncomfortable chord within Zhongli. One that he can only attribute to the values that the Tsarista instilled among the Fatui. That one's worth as a person was tied to their usefulness to a cause. And while Zhongli understood so very deeply how some needed a purpose to keep moving forward, a purpose for one's identity to be dependent on - he would not have thought Tartaglia to be such a person. While clearly devoted, Childe's passion was not so intrinsically tied to completing his duty so much as in enjoying the act of completing it.

Otherwise, he would have never been such a good fit for the Tsarista's contract. Otherwise, the possibility of a continued friendship afterwards would have been an impossibility.

And yet Chile is so quick to label someone as skilled (if ill-fated) as Manon as worthless. ]

I do not know if I would label it as pity so much as they are holding true to their convictions. Meridian believes that everyone can be saved. That life can go back to the way it was once before. Then, by that logic, surely Manon can regain the stability of a life he once had even if it is not with Zenith.

Outside of the information he might possess, however, do you view him as someone with little to no value?

communion. i hope this is okay i literally was just thinking about Him

[sharmat]

(touching the threshold between their minds to begin a dialogue, what greets him is something idyllic, the golden glow of the sun setting over a vast tiered garden replete with flowers that never wither. it reminds him of his province's southern mainland, and his eyes close to will it away.

damn, bro)

Sedura Zhongli, we met some weeks ago.

How are you faring?

reaches for Voryn. This is perfect. Was actually thinking about poking Voryn post manon

[sharethememory]

[ Something something peace within creates peace without. Also, if one is going to live in their head all the time, might as well make it nice. ]

Ah, Lord Voryn Dagoth. Always a pleasure.

[ Is there a mental equivalent of shifting over to one side to make room for another? Well, regardless. that is what Zhongli attempts to convey as the overbearing visage of his homeland recedes into a simpler feeling like a patch of earth warmed by the sun. ]

I am faring rather well. One of the merchants in the Baubles Market introduced me to an intriguing traditional lanterns that contain creatures known as Moonbugs. And while at first I concerned that they longed for a more open sky, it seems they are quite content to rest in their glass orb homes when they retire for the evening.

[ Motes of golden light flicker past as Zhongli reminisces before winking out as he turns his full attention to Voryn. ]

And yourself? How are you faring?

WOW, TWINSIES🥺

[sharmat]

(once zhongli connects with him, voryn feels a momentary repulsion. a snake in the grass between flowers—that's what it feels like. the sign of an advocate, no doubt, which is a pity. he'd have appreciated being of a complementary aspect with him, the gentleman he met on the day of the excursion into that frozen wasteland.

it doesn't stop him from having the chat he intended with the man, however. discord be damned!!!)

Oh, (voryn says, not expecting an immediate rundown of zhongli's day, but it's a welcome reprieve from all of the tense conversations he's been having.) I'm well myself... I should like to see your lanterns as they sound like handsome decorations. And If you recommend the Baubles Market to me, I will go there to buy my own.

You could join me.

[sharethememory]

[ It's rude really, that the people he finds common ground with the most personally give him the most discordant communion vibes. Zhongli has simply chalked it up to whatever omniscient being assigning aspects to them either having poor taste or a strange sense of humor.

(Thinks the archon who mucked up Noelle and Nigguang's plans by giving them geo visions. This is karma.)

Yes, an in-person conversation would be infinitely better. ]

I would be honored to. Is your schedule free today, Lord Voryn? There is something else I am interested in showing you as well.

[sharmat]

(voryn, as glad as ever that respect is being put on his name, is more than happy to clear his schedule. all that was on his to-do list was to take his second bath of the day, having become enamoured with the fact that he can wash up whenever he damn well feels like it.

it's the little things.)

It is. I can't imagine what you'd have to show me, but I admit that I am very curious. (when is he not?) I can be at the market in an hour if you would prefer to meet soon.

[sharethememory]

[ It is the little things. The simple pleasures allowed in an unfamiliar space.

Zhongli's mood brightens and the space around them seems to lighten in return as if moving backwards from dusk to midday. ]

Then I am pleased to pique your curiosity. I hope you find the surprise a positive one.

I shall see you in an hour.

comes off hiatus looking like robin williams in jumanji (FEEL FREE TO DROP THIS, I DON'T MIND!!)

[sharmat]

I am certain that I shall. You do not strike me as a man with poor taste.

(what a sunny mind, calm but passionate. there is something youthful to it and yet indescribably old.

in contrast, voryn's is dark. not totally, for though it feels alienating, at the same time it is welcoming. his emotions, impressions, and memories are ever-present but act like light spots in one's vision. they can never be looked at directly, always dancing just out of focus.

he joins zhongli in the market a few minutes early.

there is no sight more organic than the one he's met with on arrival: zhongli is preoccupied at a seller's tent and fits in as well as a native. gold lights hang around his head and shoulders like his own personal set of stars. voryn waits for a moment before approaching at a lull in the conversation.)

I am heartened that I have not appeared to miss anything. How now, Zhongli?

But Vorynnnnnnn (reaches for--- slowly in backtag land)

[sharethememory]

[ Zhongli is no stranger to those who are constantly moving, thinking, shifting. Like a lightning strike, it's impossible to predict the where and when and even why. But like most opposites, someone as steadfast and unchanging as Zhongli had always been fascinated by those who could adapt quickly.

As such, Zhongli brightens visibly in person as well when Voryn calls out to him. In return, he waves him over to join him at the merchant stall. ]

Sedura Lord Voryn Dagoth. As much as the mind can bring one peace, it is witnessing the joys of everyday life that brings inspiration.

[ Zhongli holds up on of the lanterns, glow of the Moonbugs now reflecting off both of them as he offers it for Voryn's inspection. ]

Though this is not what I meant to show you, does it live up to expectations?

[ As much expectation as one could have of a quaint touristy market bauble anyway. ]

action;

[kenosnpcs]

[ Come morning during early in the second half of Pelu, Zhongli will find a box has been delivered and waiting outside of his door. A fanciful card sits on top, and in elegant script reads:

Esteemed Bearer,

Please accept this token of our sincerest gratitude and proof of your efforts to combat the Blight's spread. Your assistance in procuring the flower specimens is greatly appreciated. The included mixture, when diluted in water, has been shown to slow the progression of the disease when ingested or spread directly over a degrading object. Though we still have much work to do, we will continue to experiment in hopes that this will lead us to a permanent cure.

Yours,

Yuri Vogen
Greenwood Yards

Inside the box sits another decorative floral box - and inside that is a vial of a shimmering, blue-green mixture. True to word, if ingested by a person suffering from the Blight or spread over an object succumbing to its effects, it will considerably slow the progress of the affliction. There are enough for three dosages.

Next time Zhongli visits Greenwood Yards, he will also find he is greeted with great warmth - and offered his choices of gourmet spices that are renowned by and highly sought after all high-brow restaurants and eateries in Highstorm. He can keep and use them in cooking to elevate any meal (which will also have relaxing, sedating effects - like a good cup of chamomile tea, nothing excessive!), or he can sell them for a pretty penny. ]

[sharethememory]

[ The next time Master Vogen and his associates find themselves working late into the night working either on behalf of the Greenwood Yards or for researching the Blight, they will also find a fresh pot of home cooked soup (a simple but filling recipe taught to Zhongli by the God of the Stove popular during their nomadic period) in the break room for the staff to enjoy that uses some of the spices selected.

With warmest regards, Zhongli ]

action;

[vapour]

[ about a week after their confrontation, which Childe has gone far out of his way to act like never happened on ALL levels, there's a gentle knock at Zhongli's door late into the night. It's nit loud enough to wake him if he's sleeping and Childe feels a need to talk about it... but at the same time is more content with using an excuse like Zhongli doesn't answer to avoid having to do so. Others, he would have used communion first. Probably. ]

Are you awake, Xiansheng...?

action;

[sharethememory]

[ Zhongli is not sleeping as evident by the rustle of movement that happens as soon as Childe knocks. The rustling pauses then continues for a few more moments before the sound of a drawer being shut clicks. The steady padding of footsteps precedes Zhongli actually opening the door. ]

I am awake.

[ Dressed downed in house robes but those not meant for sleep, Zhongli looks conflicted as if he wants to say something else, but ultimately decides not to. With another push of the door, it swings wide both to invite Childe in if he so desires or for Zhongli to follow. ]

Is something the matter, Childe?

action;

[vapour]

[ Childe glances down momentarily guiltily at the feeling Zhongli seems to want to say something but says and does nothing with it. When the other days nothing, he acts like he didn't even notice in the first place.

Unfortunately, being asked if something is the matter causes him to hesitate. He is suddenly not sure how to approach this subject and suddenly he wonders if he's not looking for thoughts and potential ways they could use this information but because he's seeking comfort. He's not, though, is he? Why would he do that? There's nothing to be considered over, and even if there were, why would he even submission want to burden Zhongli with it. He's seen first hand with others that being open and honesty doesn't do much good. It's all only reinforced his opinions and while they did have a very small heart to heart at least in terms of Childe returning to Zenith willingly because of his desire to be with Zhongli, it's not as if they really clarified what that meant along with everything else that happened. ]

Not... really... it's just, I wanted to talk to you about a dream I had while recovering at the Tree.

action;

[sharethememory]

A dream?

[ From the tree? Zhongli knows very little about communicating with the tree, but from others he has surmised that it is very— talkative when it wants to be. Also, this must have been something Childe had been thinking about for some time if it was still bothering him weeks after the event.

Placing a hand lightly on Childe's forearm: ]

Come. I'll make some tea and we can talk.

[vapour]

Thanks. I'd like that.

[ he'll take Zhongli's hand from his arm though in order to gently pull him along towards the kitchen. alright if Zhongli isn't ready to go the won't try and force him along, either. ]

And yeah... I'm pretty sure it's a dream, unless it can do similar to what Irminsul does...

[sharethememory]

I'm afraid I have not had enough dealings with the Tree to understand if it is knowledge or visions they are giving. From what I have learned from Lord Voryn Dagoth, it seems to be more of the former.

[ Zhongli is easily led to the kitchen, puttering around almost on autopilot as he goes to make the tea. The brewing device (a samovar) is quite different from Zhongli's normal fare as is the specialty jam purchased to sweeten the tea. Is that an apology? Zhongli's attempt to be thoughtful? Or maybe he just is tired of the teas that turn out more often than not to be poor imitations from his homeland. Either way— ]

What sort of dream was it?

[vapour]

[ Childe blinks, looking surprised to see that Zhongli has obvious such items, but he doesn't read too much into it if only so sad to not be disappointed if it's merely coincidence.

Coming to lean against a countertop, Childe glances up at their ceiling before speaking, unsure how to word it properly if such a thing is even possible. ]

I saw.... Many many versions of myself and their time in Kenos. Some of them I was aligned with Zenith, and others I was with Meridian. Always taking a different path, always choosing what to fight for if anything at all and variants on how I went about it. Fiercely loyal, barely loyal at all... except for one thing that always remained the same. [ he is diligent but to pause here, if only to learn the perception this post bothers him more than he wants to admit. ]

I never see the end. My shard always ends up shattered.